You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
please don't ironically join a cult
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