fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
