Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize