I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
