This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
