what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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