I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
