Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
