Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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