People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
