I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
