Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she peed on how many people?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
