in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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