yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
