This is not my ceiling
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
