you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
