Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Mom said you looked used
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize