I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also, beer. Big fan.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize