If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
