And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He felt like a one man threesome
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
