saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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