even my farts smell like vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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