Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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