Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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