I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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