It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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