The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Alive.
So much puke
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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