i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
