Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
