It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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