I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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