My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
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I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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