i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
