I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
