I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
