Swine flu. Run for my life!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
