god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
