That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
