my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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