and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
