Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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