i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
