More tranny stories later!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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