Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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