I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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