Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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