Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
