I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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