shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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