69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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