Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
