Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
