So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize