The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
